Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
