I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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