Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
