This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
