Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
