Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
