How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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