ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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