If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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