Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and she was petting her beer can
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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