He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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