She's JV to your varsity
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
