I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
