Need sex. Gaining weight.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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