I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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