Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
