just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
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I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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