someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
