2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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