do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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