I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
