Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
