I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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