At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
