Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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