Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
