So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Couch. On fire.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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