One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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