I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
