i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
