I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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