this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize