no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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