As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
