Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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