On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
