How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and she was petting her beer can
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
