Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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