Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
