At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
