i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
