i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
