at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
