no, he came in my armpit
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
