he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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