I wish I could punch you in the face.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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