i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
