I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
