My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
