arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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