they need to just BURY HIM!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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