party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you had me at cake vodka
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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