I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Randomize
