is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
