Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
