i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
