i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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