guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
