Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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