Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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