Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
not ubering you a puppy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
