i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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