I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
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After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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