i just wanna soil my oats bro
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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