So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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