he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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