I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
